Writer's Block

I have been working on this for quite awhile. Ironically, I have been suffering from writer's block. 
This is based off of how I feel writer's block and how I deal with it. I couldn't figure out the formatting so it's hard to read.

Once a upon a time … In a land faraway … A storm was coming, Quinten …Yuri … Jack … Rylan could sense it in the cooling air and the darkened sky. The wind was picking up creating a whirlwind of dust and dropping it on the path that Rylan was on.

Where was he going? Who was he? What are his dreams and desires? Who or what was his obstacle? Riley flipped her laptop closed after having her fingers hover over the keys for a moment longer. She had had Rylan in her mind for so long and still she knew very little about who he was exactly and where he was going. She didn’t even know what he wanted.

When she had first met him in her dreamscape, he was so handsome. His shining armor added to the dazzle that she didn’t listen to him tell her his story. Now whenever she met him, he had his arms folded and his mouth closed. Most likely as punishment for not listening the first time. She had become familiar with the way he looked and how he held himself but that didn’t create a whole story. Only a small part it. It had taken her a humiliating week to even learn his name!

Riley squeezed her eyes shut and Rylan appeared, he stood in his usual stance. His arms folded across his breastplate, and his mouth drawn in an unreadable line. Rylan’s dark eyes bore into Riley with a glare that made her feel uncomfortable.

“Why don’t you speak to me,” Riley groaned.

“I did speak to you.”

“I know but ̶ ”

“But you didn’t listen.”

Riley went down to her knees and held her hands clasped in front of her. She knew that she must look ridiculous to him, but it was the only thing she hadn’t tried yet. Riley widened her eyes and pulled her lips into a pout that would’ve put even her little sister to shame.

“Please.”

Rylan’s stoic expression faltered for a second but was back so fast the Riley wasn’t sure that it was real. But it was, and she had seen it. It was something. Riley’s face split into a smile. She had learned something from Rylan. He had a soft spot afterall.

Rylan shook his head and spun on his heel. Riley watched his bulky frame walk away with a thought grimace on her face. “It is going to take a lot more than a pout to get me to talk, Author.”

Riley opened her eyes and the image of Rylan disappeared. She sighed and boosted herself out of the chair. She blew out the fragrant candle. She had lit in hopes of it sparking some inspiration and shuffled her feet to the door. She was exhausted but her deadline was coming up fast and she had only begun.

Maybe a little fresh air would help bring something to her mind. It often did before, but recently things weren’t coming as much as they used to.

She lifted a headlamp off the hook by the door and strapped it to her forehead. She closed the door behind her. She had to jiggle the key in the lock before dropping it into the pocket of her husband’s jacket.

She slid her bare feet into her flip-flops, and walked down the two flights of stairs. The stairs led to the small courtyard that was enclosed in the middle of her apartment building. She found Timothy sitting at one of the tables. He was bent over his laptop with the bright screen reflected in his glasses. He looked up as she approached and closed the lid.

“Any luck?”

“A little, but nothing much.”

Riley sat on the other side of the table and took a sip of the open can of soda that was in front of Tim. He took note of the headlamp on her forehead and his jacket draped over her shoulders.

“Going somewhere?”

“I thought a walk might help me write.”

“Wait here and I’ll come with you,” Tim said picking up his laptop and swinging his legs over the bench to stand up. “I need a break anyway.”

Riley nodded and took another sip of the drink. Tim kissed the top of her head and disappeared up the stairs that she had walked down. Riley tilted her head back and gazed up at the dark sky. It was a clear night, but with all the lights from the surrounding streetlights, she couldn’t see the stars. She closed her eyes.

“I found something out.”

“What was that?”

Rylan folded his arms and one corner of his lips twitched up . Riley could sense that his cold exterior was melting with the frequency of her visits. Riley grinned up at him with her hands clasped behind her back and rocked back onto her heels. His lips twitched again like he was trying to keep a smile from spread over his face.

“You are a big softie.”

“A softie?”

The space between Rylan’s eyes made a V and his eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched and relaxed several times before he spoke again. His voice was tense when he did like he was a rubber band stretched to its breaking point.

“You think I’m weak?”

The malice in his voice shocked Riley. His voice had always had a softer lilt whenever he did speak to her, maybe a little irritated, but never angry. Riley tilted her head, that would make two things learned about her character. He was not to be underestimated. She looked down at her feet. The last thing that she wanted to do was to offend Rylan again and risk having him never come to her again.

“I would never think that Rylan,” Riley said. “Softie was the wrong word. It’s more like tender hearted.”

His mood lightened in a moment and the smallest of smiles lifted his lips. Riley’s heart pounded in her chest. She was finally getting her character to open up to her and all she had to do was to give him a compliment. He was definitely a gentle person despite his appearance.

“For that, I will tell you something.”

“What would that be?” Riley asked at the risk of sounding too eager. She tried to keep her voice level and not speak to fast.

Rylan chuckled, “don’t get too excited. It will only be something small, Author.”

“Better than nothing.”

“Very well, I will tell you that I’m trying to get somewhere on time, someone needs my help.”

“Ready to go,” Tim’s voice broke the trance and Riley’s eyes opened with a wide smile on her face.

Riley stood and clicked the button on top of the headlamp. A ray of light illuminated the ground in front of her. Timothy interlocked his fingers with hers and together they walked out of the courtyard into the apartment’s parking lot. The pavement was cracked, and weeds grew out from between the cracks. They didn’t live in the nicest place, but it was home and the fee was doable. Still, Riley wished for something better as people often do.

They left the yellow light of the parking lot and into the dark trees that stood clustered behind the apartments. The streetlights were kept away from the paths in the trees to give an illusion of untouched nature.

Riley loved it there. It was there that she had first met Rylan and many of her other characters from other stories. Walking through the trees there, Riley understood what Emerson said about reaching the sublime in the common. Her mind cleared and she would finally be able to think clearly. She felt closer to her talents there, like it was from nature that she come to be a writer.

“Is everything okay Riley?” Timothy broke the silence; his voice came out soft like he always did when he asked her the question. “You’ve been having a hard time with writing lately. Last time that happen you were sick, so what is wrong this time?”

Her husband could read her like a book, it was one of the reasons she married him. Riley thought of the stack of student loans that she had gathered before graduation. This book would pay them off and free her from that cage. She thought it was funny. She went to school to learn more about her craft and fell into debt. Now, she needed to finish the novel that alluded her to pay off that debt. The same debt that was making it hard to write.

“It my student loans,” she finally said. “I can’t see the end of them.”

Timothy squeezed her hand. Since the day they were married, he had given her unwavering support. He had some student loans hanging over himself, but he had a good job and a steady income. Besides that, he was up for a promotion that came with a raise soon.

“Everything will be alright Riley; we’ll figure this all out.”

Tim wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to his side. She felt his lips press into her hair. Riley rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. They finished their walk close to each other’s side and talked and laughed about other things.

Early the next morning, when it was still dark Riley rolled out of bed. She moved slowly, careful not to wake her husband, and went to the kitchen table of their small apartment. She opened her laptop and waited for the screen to come on and pulled the document up.

Rylan looked at the swirling dark clouds and sighed. He would have to stop and wait out the storm. He put drew the hood of his cloak up and wrapped it tighter around himself. Rylan was running out of time. He wasn’t sure what exactly would happen when he arrived at the dark castle citadel, but there wasn’t time to worry.

There were so many things that his brother had did to wrong him. He had even tried to kill him on two accounts, but still he was his brother.

Once again Riley spent a long couple of minutes staring at her laptop’s screen. She watched the cursor blink, and tried to will words to come into her mind. But all she could think of was the loan hanging over her head. Riley shook it from her mind and tried again. She heard Timothy get out of bed and heard the shower turn on. She placed her fingers to the keys and with a deep breath carried on: 

Alec would no doubt hate the sight of him but that didn’t stop Rylan from going. A wrongful execution date loomed over his head and Rylan was the only one that could stop it. Alec could run away again, as soon as Rylan rescued him and continue running as far as he wanted. As soon as Rylan rescued him. The mud squelched underneath his boots, the wind had picked up and the rain was falling in a steady stream. Rylan would curse his brother, if he became ill from this…And then Rylan stumbled over a humongous chest filled with gold that he used to pay off Riley’s student loans and bought her a house bigger than Buckingham Palace. While he was at it, he also paid off the rest of her car payment too.

Riley stared at the screen for another long moment before slamming the laptop shut. She swiped at her frustrated tears. What was wrong with her? She loved writing and it was the only true passion she had. Why was it coming so hard to her and when it mattered most? She felt like she had a phantom limb. Or like her creativity was dried up, leaving only a desert in her mind. An overflowing dam that was beyond her reach.

The question was: how did she break the dam?

“I’ll be home late tonight,” Timothy said coming into the room. “Good luck with writing today.”

He bent down to press a kiss to Riley’s cheek before grabbing his laptop bag and keys. He pulled open the curtains on either side of the door before slipping out. He did it every morning to try and help spark inspiration in anyway he could.

Riley spent most of the day opening and closing the laptop, but nothing was coming to her mind. Rylan wasn’t saying anything, but that no surprise. After not being able to glean any information from him or put down any words, Riley put away her laptop. She instead, set her mind to cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. It was something she did to try and trigger some kind of inspiration.

The rooms were spotless.

It was close to noon when the phone rang, and when Riley answered it, her father’s voice greeted her happily.

“Tim called a minute ago.” 

“Did he,” Riley furrowed her brow. “What did he say?”

“He told me of some money problems.”

Riley rolled her eyes, of course Timothy told her parents. True, she should have told them about the loans when she had acquired them. Her dad had also warned her against loans. She didn’t want to disappoint them, and that was why she took out the loans, so she didn’t drop out of school altogether. Her husband was such a meddlesome person, but she loved him anyway.

“Yes Dad.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t because I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I took out loans.”

“Sweetheart, you know that your mom and I would’ve lent you the money you needed with a more forgiving interest.”

Riley felt tears sting her eyes. She did know that they would do anything and everything to help her. Although, they had already done so much for them that she hesitated to ask. But now, she wished she had had asked her parents. Hindsight 20/20.

“That said,” Dad continued on. “Your mom and I are going to pay off your debts. Before you argue, I’ve already transferred the funds so there isn’t anything you can do about it.”

The tears flowed down Riley’s face now and she felt as a great weight lifted from off her shoulders. At that moment, she felt the dam break and inspiration flooded her mind.

“Thank you Dad,” Riley said when she could speak again. “I’ll repay you every penny!”

“That isn’t the condition of this loan.”

“What is?”

“That you finish your novel and put a dedication for your mother and I.”

Riley thanked her dad over and over again until she finally hung up the phone. She couldn’t help but squeal and leap around the room. Riley carried on that way until she fell into the kitchen chair again, out of breath, and closed her eyes. 

Rylan appeared in front of her in his usual stance with his arms folded in front of him and a stoic expression. Riley smiled when she saw him and bounced on the balls of her feet. She couldn’t contain the excitement and happiest she felt.

“Will you tell me everything now?’

“You didn’t listen.” His voice was softer this time.

“I’m listening now.”

Rylan smiled, he walked to her and picked up both of her hands in his. His eyes bore into hers and inside them held the story that she had been looking so long for.

“I know,” he said. “I will tell you my story."